MILK Podcast The Loss Season Episode 6 Losing Patience, All That Rage, and The Myth of Equal Partnership at Home with Clinical Psychologist Darcy Lockman

Darcy Lockman joins Mallory in the MILK Studio. Darcy is the author of "All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and The Myth of Equal Partnership," and  is a clinical psychologist practicing in New York City. 

"All The Rage" takes a close look at why in this modern era, full-time employed mothers continue to bear 65 percent of the childcare labor. 

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Mallory and Darcy talk about how anger and resentment led Darcy to action. Using her marriage as a case-study, she chronicles the experiences of a cross-section of women raising children with men — visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. She identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home? 

Darcy Lockman is a clinical psychologist practicing in New York City. Her first book, "Brooklyn Zoo," chronicled the year she spent working on a city hospital psychiatric ward. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times and The Washington Post, and many others. She lives with her husband and daughters in New York. Find her at darcylockman.com 

MILK Podcast: The Loss Season Episode 3: Motherhood, Marriage and Loss of Self with Clinical Psychologist and Author Molly Millwood, PhD

Clinical Psychologist Molly Millwood joins Mallory in the MILK Studio to discuss her new book "To Have and To Hold: Motherhood, Marriage and the Modern Dilemma."

When Molly first became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby, hard won mothering skills, and a chaotic, beautiful life. But what she was not prepared for – and what she did not expect – was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.  And though she had the benefit of a supportive partner during this transition, she also envied and at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison.  

Photo by Kathryn West

Photo by Kathryn West

As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the benefit of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with guilt, self doubt, and fear, and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.

In her book, “To Have and To Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma,” Molly surveys the complex terrain of new motherhood, exploring the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically and professionally, as well as how it impacts their partnerships.

Dr. Molly Millwood holds a Ph.D in clinical psychology with advanced specialized training in marital therapy and intimate relationships. Molly is a licensed psychologist in private practice, where she is particularly known for her work with couples and with women navigating the transition to parenthood. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two children.  Find her at www.mollymillwood.com

Episode 36: Like A Mother: Feminism, Science and the Culture of Pregnancy With Journalist Angela Garbes

Journalist Angela Garbes joins Mallory in the MILK Studio. Angela is a Seattle based writer specializing in food, bodies, women’s health, and issues of racial equity and diversity, and is the author of “Like  A Mother: A Feminist Journey through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy.”

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As a new mom food writer at Seattle's alt-weekly, The Stranger, Angela wrote a piece called “The More I Learn About Breast Milk, the More Amazed I Am.” The story became the publication’s most read piece in its twenty-four year history, and the inspiration for “Like A Mother.” Angela is an experienced public speaker, frequent radio and podcast guest, and event moderator.  She grew up in a food obsessed immigrant Filipino household and now lives in Seattle with her husband and daughters. Find her on twitter @agarbes

Episode 29: Cartoon Coping, Unpaid Custodial Work, and Goop-y Wellness with Dr Grace Farris, MD

Cartoonist and physician Dr. Grace Farris MD is in the MILK Studio with Mallory. Dr. Farris graduated from Brown Medical School and completed her internal medicine residency at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. She practiced as a hospitalist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, and was a fellow in bioethics at Harvard Medical School in 2016. In 2017, Dr. Farris joined the Icahn Mount Sinai School of Medicine as assistant professor and Chief of the Division of Hospital Medicine at Mount Sinai West. 

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In addition, Grace draws the most excellent, wry, New Yorker-ish cartoons and shares them on Instagram, about momming as a doctor and woo-hooing at every Soul Cycle around NYC. It is a spot on, self-deprecating (because look at her resume!) look at life as a curious NYC transplant, a physician who is often mistaken for a nurse, #boymom. Check her out @coupdegracefarris on Instagram and @gracefarris on Twitter.

Episode 24: How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, Marriage Under a Microscope, and Cyndi Lauper’s Vintage Kitchen with Jancee Dunn

Jancee Dunn joins Mallory is in the MILK Studio to talk about her latest book, "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids."

Photo: Elena Seibert

Photo: Elena Seibert

Jancee is the New York Times bestselling author of five books, including a memoir of her years at Rolling Stone, a book she co-wrote with Cyndi Lauper, and a children’s book, "I'm Afraid Your Teddy Is In Trouble Today," about stuffed animals up to no good. Her essay collection, "Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?" was a finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times, Vogue, O, The Oprah Magazine, and Parents.

Check her out at JanceeDunn.net

Milk Podcast Episode 21:  Secret World of Teenagers, The Bechdel Test, Sexuality and Casting with Actress Amy Hargreaves

Actress Amy Hargreaves joins Mallory in the MILK Studio. Currently starring in the popular “13 Reasons Why” series and in Showtime’s “Homeland,” Amy is also appearing in two fall films, “Super Dark Times” and “Wonderstruck.”

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Amy’s first audition was an open call for Broadway’s “Annie” at age 12, and she has worked in commercials, voiceovers, film, television and theater jobs, ever since.

Amy talks with Mallory about navigating motherhood and performing, how expressing sexuality in her acting career helped her get roles as she got OLDER, and the harassment and assault issues that are rocking the entertainment world.

Episode 14: Documenting Joy, Celebrating Love and Staying Present with Filmmaker Susannah Ludwig

Filmmaker and Producer Susannah Ludwig joins Mallory in the MILK studio to talk about making joyful documentaries, applying her producer hat to love, and embracing the darkness of uncertain health.

 

We talk anxiety and positivity, and how those factors shape us as mothers and daughters. Susannah is optimistic, really likes making lists, is driven in life and in love, and shines as a mom and as a human. 

Episode 4: Mom Drag, Packing Lunch, and The Ambition Decisions with Writer/Editor Elizabeth Wallace

Writer, editor and athleisure lover Elizabeth Wallace is in the MILK studio with Mallory. Liz is the co-author of the forthcoming book The Ambition Decisions: What Women Know About Work, Family, and the Path to Building a Life (Viking, 2018).

Wallace worked for over a decade as an editor at fashion magazines including Vogue, Lucky, Nylon, InStyle, Seventeen, and Us Weekly. She is now a freelance writer who contributes regularly to Architectural Digest and Domino, and has been published in The Atlantic, Lenny, Refinery29, Travel + Leisure, Departures, and Redbook. In addition to her work in editorial content, Wallace collaborates on advertising campaigns and branded content for fashion, automotive, healthcare, food/spirits, and financial clients. Find her @lizardwallace on Twitter and Instagram.