lost and found
I’m in a transition right now. Sometimes this feels like this is all there is, these places of change that feel unstable and funky. I spent so much of my teens, twenties and even thirties feeling like a character in a novel or a movie, experiencing things as some kind of story or adventure looking towards what my future would look like, and now that I’m in that once imagined stable scenario I still look around constantly to make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. It’s easy to look outward for validation and assume that everyone else is moving through life’s transitions with ease. Of course I know that is not the case, but reminding myself is constant.
The past month or so, I’ve been trying to figure out the future of my show. I completed my Loss Season, and it was a powerful thing for me to make, share, and let go. Its not as if I learned all I need to know about loss – that would be some kind of hubris! But it feels like I am moving forward into another manifestation of loss, into an acceptance of how it colors our lives.
In January, I went to panels and networking events other women were hosting on behalf of their own podcasts and books. I followed through with coffee and yoga plans with women I admire, and talked with them at events about how events themselves are nourishing and inspiring, and how we need IRL contact to replenish and restore us. I’ve thought about what I want to do next, what I think I’m best at, and how I can serve others. I think about my luck and privilege in being able to consider all I want to achieve.
Moving forward, I want to continue to investigate how loss is a part of our parenting lives, but also the finds that come along with the losses. The transitions in our children’s development, in our work, in our physical selves – what do they produce? I want to explore the resilience we contain, but also be truthful about what it takes to build a business, a practice, a body of work, a platform or a home. I want to continue to meet excellent women. I want to amplify voices. I want to collaborate with other smart people. I want to learn who my kids are becoming and I want to be the best parent I can be. I want to have fulfillment and fun and satisfaction and I want to serve.
Season 3 of MILK Podcast is coming soon.